Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Randomize
