I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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