is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
