it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Randomize
