So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
