you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I want to fling myself into the sun
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
