dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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