Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
