..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
