you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
