I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize