No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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