rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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