the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I am naked and annoyed.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
