I cockslap morals
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Randomize
