You made me cry and you don't even care
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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