there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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