So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
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