so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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