tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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