you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
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