I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
