using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
