It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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