I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
