You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
