I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Randomize
