If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Randomize
