If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
