I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
