For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
