I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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