You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
