I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
