when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
