Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I didn't notice because vodka
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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