I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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