the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Randomize
