soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
