Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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