Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
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