No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
