So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
