This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
