Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize