At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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