come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Randomize
