You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
