im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Randomize
