Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
