we're blogging at a bar
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
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