I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
