Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I currently don't understand fingers.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
