Dude my mom stole all your condoms
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Randomize
