U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
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