did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
