i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
