she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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