This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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