when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Randomize
