Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Randomize
