In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
