Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Randomize
