Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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