The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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