But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
