i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Randomize