Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
